just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the condom got lost in my hair
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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