So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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