I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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