i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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