best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
