Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
