He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
