im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize