Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
