I just cut my nipple shaving
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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