On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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