i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
