am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
