Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
