its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
