so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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