You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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