i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
