I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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