Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
