they need to just BURY HIM!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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