just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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