Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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