all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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