Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
