Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
