just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
