Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize