Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
