We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
