idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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