i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
