Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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