Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
