so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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