I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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