Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
