Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
