So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
