Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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