Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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