I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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