So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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