He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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