I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
