we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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