why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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