Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Less talking, more tequila
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
