grandma shit on top of the toilet
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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