Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
