I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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