I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
