What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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