remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
