Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
