There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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