eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He? As in you personified your dick?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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