i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
