my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
