But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just invented taco cereal.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
