Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
