All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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