Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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