so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
